Right Path/Wrong Path

I feel like I should take as many drugs as I can to see when I can finally pass on. Noticably this is when I havent felt the warmth of my guitar within days. Then, I look at Jimi Hendrix Live videos and feel his music and his stage presence - I then say to myself; Thats where I want to be. I want to be on stage and release all my aggression. To not have to worry about what I'm going to do with my life and so on.

My heart isnt burnt out yet, I know what I have to do to get to my promised land. I haven't given up yet.

Daughter

So in the midst of feeling lonely in some parts of the brain. I've been saying to myself, I feel like I need a daughter to raise. In reality it probably wouldnt be the best; seeing as I still see myself as a kid still sometimes. However, I've been playing with my friends daughters alot lately. Talking to them, enlightening them, etc. I've come to fall in love with them. They are awesome.. When I was younger I hated kids lol (My much more emotional/negative days). Now im picking up.. They are very sweet. There is one that is a spark. Her name is Mackenzie, very very very smart young lady.

She's also very aware of the importance of Money too. She seems to look up to me; Which is good.

Peace

Ahh me at the park today. Its greatly flooded. Two people died in the same waters the day before. Its a period of changes.

So much has been on my mind lately. Everyone around me fighting with someone else around me. As much as I try, no one bothers to listen to my reasoning. "Drop the Beef" "Drop the Conflict" "Stop the Hate". I feel they'll all understand soon. As of right now, I suppose people have something to prove. Pride seems to be the key issue around these parts. I'm kept sane by those who encourage me in person and online & Music.

Wild Thing

After searching through youtube quickly after my last post. I came across some shit I have NEVER heard before. 

Well technically I've heard this before, not exactly this version.

It seems to be the same recording as this one:

Now.. I've waited a while to hear the actual recording of this wild thing version. & Now I have.. and I'm in love all over again!

I'm still confused if its from Clark University, or Winterland.

Sickness/Work/Money/DriversLicense

So heres the fill in. I've been sick for the past few days. I have this killer throat pain. Feels like I'm being stabbed in the throat everytime I swallow. Well.. Actually its gotten a little better. Earlier, I was almost wimping due to the torture I was going through. I always keep telling myself; "Take it like a soldier" its like an automatic thing I'm used to. I think it developed due to memories of my father being in the Nation Guard. Kinda random.. I know.. but yeah. Oh and I havent smoked weed in a few days either, as well as drunk alcohol. I feel mentally cleansed. I've been living off of my guitar lately too. Been playing Jimi's wild thing solo over and over and over again.

It's too magical to live without it. Once I get better, I'll post a recording of it. I did a wild thing cover before, but i'm not too happy with it.

Oh and I finally start work soon. April 7th :) :) :).

My friends tell me to save my pay checks so we can go to Vegas in the summer.

I can't help but to think of a new guitar I can buy. A real fucking stratocaster finally. I HATE being tied down by my current guitar. A cheap Squier bullet strat. Oh well.. He sings to me and I sing back blah blah.

Oh yeah I got my drivers license in the mail yesterday. they made new cards, its vertical now. Soooo... yeahhhh...

Crazy lastnight

I can't breathe.

Oh and lastnight I was molested by a dog & I'm a bush diver.

Rebuilt

Ok so im doin' good now. My mood is back to positive as it has been for a while (before earlier and yesterday night (Unexplained)). Turns out I just needed to play my guitar again. I got very angry at it; due to it falling apart. It's a cheap Squire Bullet series Stratocaster by Fender. Only set me back $112. So, anyway.. The other day as I took ecstasy. I started tripping hard. I took my guitar and amp to the laundry room of my appartment complex, I then setup my gear, then I start jamming as loud as I wanted. I was lost - I was gone - I was having sex with my guitar. At the end of it, I threw my guitar at my amp and then stomped on it once. It was my own little sacrifice. I felt I was experiencing what Jimi Hendrix was experiencing (not exactly copying him). My natural showmanship spun out and expressed itself. In other words; "Ecstasy". The day after I was experincing mood swings. Going from joyful to aggrivated. The day after that - I woke up and started wailing away on my strat. THEN, I started feeling excellent. Oh and a alot of help from my friends/nowfamily. THAT was what I needed all along. My guitar was calling me.
P.S - Video of this exists, its on my friends cellphone though. He happened to record it as I was tripping out. That, and going back up to his pad with my guitar&amp in hand, made me feel like a fucking ROCKSTAR. I made alot of people come out and see me do this, and everyone started talking about it. wow.. haha

"ah dah way he": Just now gave it that name. It means "Angel" in Cherokee named after my brother that passed years ago. Who also happened to be a cat.

He meant alot to me.

Trouble

So the other night I took some ecstasy for the first time. Since then I've been feeling really moody. As of right now, I think I may be in trouble. I'm going through some things, I feel as if im heading down the wrong road. I feel like I can't tell anyone either. I'm kinda scared. Maybe I'm just freaking out as I've just waken up.. But I dont know.

By the drop

Hmmm... got really drunk lastnight with my brother (Ryan), walked from his grandpa's house, walked down a side street for the adventure we may find, and turns up we find an opened garage, ryan goes in and pulls out a bottle of brandy. We drank all the way back home.
I wake up this morning hang over - free. :)

Scariest quote I've ever heard:

"Some people go their entire lives without finding love."

Distractions keep me occupied.

(X) Music

(X) Guitars

(X) Mary Jane

(X) Characters I run into or simply interact with every other day.

(X) Animals

Flaws

I try not to give too much attention to those who already receive enough of it. You can call it one of my flaws (letting other people stop me from getting what I desire). I wonder if its something I should change immediately or just not worry about it right now.

Oh and that is a picture of a drop-fountain-thing in a bar during my trip to Thunder Valley Casino

I'm sitting here at 12:47am drinking this caramel frappicino or however you spell it, from Starbucks (AKAnothingdifferentthanpotdispensaries); Listening to a bunch of Jimi Hendrix recordings. Ones in which I've listened to a thousand times before. Thats how you know you're a good artist if someone can keep listening to your music like this. FUck this shit is good, im getting twitchy too. Mushahaha

Stuck listening to this version of Hey Joe all night. I can't get over the fact he pretty much lets everyone know what was going on at the time.

a little after 3:39 he's like "aint nobody gonna fuck with me either". I suppose he's speaking about the mafia scene and michael jefferies, etc. Then at 3:55 he says his actual final goodbye so exaustingly. It's haunting..

Peace / No Peace

I've been noticing this fasination of throwing up the Peace sign lately. People have been representing the sign of peace for looks, to modernly-reglamourize the 60's. They obsessively show the image of peace, but they act like stuck up models. As if they are a model of the 60's hippies. I could just be rrambling as I just woke up, but its been on my mind lately. When I say peace, I really mean it. No stylized image of it, I mean it to the nitty gritty.

PEACE.

Artists

I came across this website from a friends facebook page.

http://www.vangoghcomplex.com/default.html

Such an amazing site to look at. It's all art.. its all beauty from the "diseased" minds of wonderful people.

Haha, I love it. I fit right in with people like this.

I'm like a kid in a candy store when finding a group of people like my self. I've been feeling like I've been alone for so long, that its easy to understand why.

Here's a few of my favorites drawn by artists from the website.

 

Earth Goddess by: Kailey Josen

Mannequin and Cylinder by: Ashton Graves Sorrels

& I'm not quite sure what this one is called, but I can't help but admire the detail.

by: Chris Cromartie

Pain, Substitution, Music scene

Hello self..

I am back writing, woo hoo!

I am in so much pain I can't stand up without support, can hardly, and all other kinds of limitations are abroad. I've been playing basketball alot lately. You see, well I 'aquired' a basketball hoop last week. I didnt actually just aquire it. I stole it.. It was for the good though. I have this 'communist/socialist/hero-ist-type' of thinking; Where if someone isnt using something that the youth could use, then the youth should be able to use it. Spreading the Wealth. I took the hoop for the kids of my apt complex. River Terrace Appartments, is possibly the lamest place you could live. It literally has nothing for the youngsters, nor does it have anything for people my age. So I saw this basketball hoop sitting on a drive way that I see all the time when playing at the local school, started walking home after a game, stopped by the drive way, then a friend of mine dumped the water out as I carried the entire basketball hoop on my back to the appartment complex. This thing was heavy as fuck - However my dedication withstood it.

Anyway, moving on lad..

Mary Jane and music have been my substitution for women long enough. I believe im starting to come back to the senses that I really do need a girl by my side. Idk..

I've found another music opportunity. My friend, Ryan - picked up this card when he went down to the Downtown Mall the other day. Its this card from this new indie/modern hipster store called 'Zuhg Life'. I might be able to play live in front of the store. It also definitely looks like a new chill spot. I peaked inside of the store long after it was closed on one of my late night strolls to downtown a a little while back. The first thing I've come to see was this Jimi Hendrix poster they had on display on the wall. I will definitely be going back my niggaaazzz.

Oh I might need to get a new guitar soon. My beat up Fender Squire Stratocaster Bullet is falling apart. The bypass keeps cutting off, the pickups aren't screwed in correctly, and I can't put them back in because they'll be touching the strings.. UGHHH.. I can't wait till this new job starts, first thing I buy WILL be a new guitar. Open up some credit and rent to own my dream American Standard Stratocaster, or perhaps just buy out a epiphone SG or Gibson SG for $300 from Guitar Center. Ahhh!!